Git-r-done

OH MY GOD IM BORED OUT OF MY MIND...I HAVE TO WORK AT THE RADIO STATION ALL WEEKEND UNTIL TUESDAY AND AT NOON I HAVE TO WORK ALL WEEKEND FROM 9 A.M. TIL MIDNIGHT.....I AM SO TIRED AND BORED OUT OF MY MIND..IM STUCK IN THE STUDIO TIL TUESDAY...PLEASE TALK TO ME AND HELP ME SHOW ME SOME LOVE

Hey there everyone...sorry i havent posted in a while...i have been an emotional wreck lately...just i dont know why but...for all of those who know me know that i just recently got married and i have turners syndrome...well of course one day me and my husband would like to have a child...well since i have turners syndrome i cant have a child...and lately seeing all my friends getting pregnant has just made me sad...i will never get to experience a baby growing inside of me or experience it kicking me...its just upsetting cause i really want a baby...well anyways show me some love

Hey everybody...sorry i havent been on here in a while...just been busy...me and my hubby and the family got a new puppy...chancy...it is so cute...i went to the guitar pull tuesday night..billy currington, trick pony, john berry, sawyer brown, danielle peck, and pat green were there...it was awesome...my best friend tamara went with me. Today im sick...i feel like crap. I slept wrong the other night and i have a crick in my neck and it hurts like hell and i have a sore throat and sinus problems it sucks... so leave me some love to make me feel better LOl!!!

HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY...MINE WAS BORING...ME AND MY HUSBAND HANDED OUT CANDY...AND GOT SOME DINNER...HOW FUN LOL!!! IM NOT COMPLAINING CAUSE I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY MAN...BUT I WANTED TO GO TO A PARTY OR SOMETHING...OH WELL....SO SUNDAY I WANTED TO SPEND THE DAY WITH HIM BUT HE GOT CALLED IN...THAT SUCKED...BUT I GOT TO GO SEE LARRY THE CABLE GUY SATURDAY THAT WAS FUN.

Yesterday was very stressful.....because i babysate 5 kids....all the kids were ones i love...we had a great time that wasnt the stressful part....well i took them to old navy with me thinking it would be good to get them out of the house but that was a chore LOL!!!! so i took them back to the house...but anyways last night was the stressful part...some lady that lives across the street from amanda is crazy....the kids were outside playing when she came outside and told them that if they stepped foot in her yard she was gonna shoot them and went to the backyard and shot a gun...what a psycho...so i called the cops...the cop was crazy....tamara was there she will know what im talking about LOL!! he just came busting up in the house...he said the lady looked like she had a mouth full of rocks....LOL....he went to talk to her and she denied everything...anyways so i called my sister and told her what happened cause i had her kids to...she came and picked the kids up and cussed me out like it was my fault...and she started yelling at me about other things...what should i do should i call her and fix things or should i just let it go? amanda was there when she started cussing me....thank you girl for making me feel better girlie...i love ya..<33333 so i feel like she just yelled at me for no reason....should i be upset?

So i am trying to get rid of my car its a 2004 dodge stratus...the payments are just killing me...and now im stressed i dont know what to do to get out of it...i either have to sell it or trade it in and lose a hell of a lot of money or get it repossessed...dont want that.Please help! I know that i shouldn't complain but i have also worked everyday at the stupid fair...my radio station is there every day til the fair is done...it is so boring...we just sit there til someone comes up and talks to us...oh well...well show me some love and help me figure out what to do with my car. Oh yeah...my dad went to Louisiana to help with the clean up and he just got home....he made 20 bucks an hour...thats really good. the pictures he took were so sad..im glad he is home now though. he might be going back thursday...so we will see.

Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about “courting” from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.
“ ’Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he’s not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and gettin’ all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold because he put it under her skirt.

“About this time Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick — a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really scared — her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she’s ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake.

“Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel’s head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were dripping out.

“Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn’t dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats — they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis’s boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.”

sorry about not posting the past couple of days...i have been at a funeral. my cousin david died...he was only 23. He had diabetes. he has been hospitalized for it a couple of times...the people he was staying with said that the night he died he wasnt feeling well and they tried to get him to go to the hospital and he wouldnt...he knew he was gonna die they said he said he loved them...arranged stuff in his room and went to sleep and died :*(. David thomas Watkins II...i will miss you and love you forever..

DAVID WATKINS iii....WE WILL MISS YOU

ok i know that i add people to my friends list but it has nothing to do with bashing them or anything...i just want to get to know people better that i can talk to...sorry if i offend anyone..

yay i am happy now..after i had been at work at 5 this morning i was supposed to work til 10 tonight at first friday..i was dreading that because i am so tired...but it got cancelled so i am so happy i get to hang out with my husband tonight eat steakout and go to bed...so anyways i will update lata..goodnight

OH MY GOSH...I WISH THIS RAIN WOULD GO AWAY..it has rained for 2 days straight cause of tropical storm tammi...anyways..my tongue ring is healed i changed it the other day. I went to the hot apple pie concert last night, they were great. they are a new country group. me and my husband have to go to a funeral. i found out yesterday that my cousin died. i wasnt that close to him but he was only 23 and i did go to college and had some classes with him and it is just so sad. anyways enough of that or i might cry.. i have had to get up the past 3 mornings at 5 and didnt get home last night til 12 and then get back up at 5 so i am exhausted..anyways at work i will be back on lata.

Hi i am new to this community. I am so glad that i found it. NOt alot of people know what turner syndrome is. I got diagnosed when i was 15 years old. I wanted to die when i found out. I just got married 9 months ago and we dont know if we can have kids or not. I hope so.

there is this girl going around here on live journal talking shit about me. I am a nice person. I have never done anything to her and she goes to peoples communites and tells them crap about me. I cant stand that.anyway jeffs home. I am so happy. Got some Lovin LOL HAHA. im in a good mood now

JEFF WITH HIS NIECE AND NEPHEW THE DAY HE CAME HOME

How could you kill an innocent child...and actually live with yourself afterwards










At the moment of conception a miracle happens
When a spirit is joined with flesh;
The heart starts to beat and blood begins flowing
As the baby and soul enmesh.

Yes, the fetus is a living and hopeful being,
Looking forward to a life on earth.
What changes would we see on this earth today,
Had all been allowed natural birth?

But millions of babies are senselessly slaughtered
For the crime of being unwanted.
While the Liberal's carp, "It’s a woman’s choice!"
And into the trash heap they’re shunted.

The soul within the baby screams,
"Please, give me a chance at life!"
But the silent screams of the unborn child
Are muted by the surgeon’s knife.

They tell themselves, "The fetus can’t feel."
As it’s torn from the mother’s womb.
And this miracle from God is cruelly murdered
With a Dumpster for a tomb.

I am prolife in case you didnt know


A pro-life poem:
Six weeks old today mommy
a birthday gift for me
a pair of big blue eyes
through one day i will see
where are we going mommy
with the rain splashing down
when it hits the ground it makes a funny sound
bang through the big white doors
people dressed in green
if they hurt you mommy just run away and scream
help mommy they're tearing me apart
there goes my big blue eyes
there goes my little heart
i love you mommy beleive me i do
but the worst thing is i thought you loved me too

THE CHOICE THAT ISN'T OURS

Oh, what a choice it is, to make the one that isn't ours ...
to kill a little child, that has no voice,
just because of a woman's vain desires.
Why are you so hasty
in making up your mind?
It will taunt your mind for ever
and peace you'll never find.

When you contemplate the murder
of the baby in your womb,
life will never be the same again
and you'll live your life in gloom.

You can say, "The devil made me do it."
But, that will not suffice.
For, you will know you killed your child
and you'll have to pay the price.

You can never retrieve that moment,
when you contemplate this deed.
As, that is time that's lost forever,
for you have crushed that precious seed.

A MONSTROSITY

I think the end is coming.
And, we're running out of time
To change what has happened.
For, our peers are so very very blind.

They continue with the killing,
Of babies that have no voice,
Only for the mothers pleasure.
For, they insist on having their evil choice.

Murder is the trend today
And our President will make it right.
For, he has no love for life that's new.
And, his wife will lead the fight.

They have a cabinet of abortionist,
So this murder can run it's course
Without any interference ...
From a government with no remorse.

With Hillary's wonderful health plan,
We'll have abortion on demand.
And, who will foot this genocide?
It's the tax payer, the only ones who can.

Euthanasia is in the making.
So, the old folks had better do some thinking.
They won't be longing for this old earth anymore,
If Hillary gets to open that door.

America evolved from freedom and morals.
But, it will never survive this administration -
If something isn't done to curb this trend
And stop this obliteration.

ABORTION IS A CRIME!!!

We are innocent children,
so why are we the ones to die.
We didn't do anything wrong,
we didn't even cry.
Why can't they just keep us,
or someone will adopt us.
Why do they have to kill us,
is it to get rid of us?
They say we are not a person,
that we are just a "blob".
God would have not made us,
if we were not meant to be.
God gave us all life,
so why can't you take that advice.
So why are we the ones to die,
we didn't do a crime!
We are innocent children,
so abortion is a crime!!

this is hilarious



A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go
out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to
his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."
"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door
to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer,
brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he
could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the
bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife
interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at
the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...
I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and
took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs
in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing,
dirty words and all that.

"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in
your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks,
because you are married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got
it, Asshole?"

LONG BUT FUNNY

This has to be one of the funniest and most god awful scenarios I have ever heard of...bless this woman. All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly, girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!* So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my *private area* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself. RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair. WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair.. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.

*Private part*? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land. My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....................... ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

So I shaved it off. Hell, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......

Holy shit, I did every single one of these, knew all the theme songs, recalled every single moment of this...

And jelly shoes fucking hurt...

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's or Early 90's If:

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"

2. You watched the Pound Puppies.

3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Bellaire" and you can do the "Carlton".


4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.

5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.

6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.

7. You know that "WHOA " comes from Joey on Blossom.

8. You know what Parachute Pants look like and feel like.

9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".


10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.

11. You can sing the entire theme song to "DuckTales " (Woo ooh!)

12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday Morning to watch cartoons.

13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen... and still know the turtles names.

15. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.

16. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.

17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)

18. You wore a stonewashed Jordache jean jacket and were proud of it.

19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?

20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM ". (She's truly outrageous.)

21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.

22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"

23. You wanted to be a Goonie.

24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing.

25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.

26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail kids in the schoolyard.

28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.

29. You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence.

30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.

31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.

32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.

33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.

35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"

36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.

38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.

39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.

40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.

41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.

42. You remember Popples.

43. Your motto was "Don't worry, be happy."

44. You wore like, FOUR pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.

45. You wore socks scrunched down and over your tight jeans.

46. You remember boom boxes. . and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.

47. You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.

48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"

49. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little Pony"

50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.

51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.

52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".

53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class.

54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.

55. You just sang those words to yourself.


56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.

57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)

58. You remember when mullets were cool!

59. Frizzy hair was IN.

60. You still sing "We are the World"

61. You tight rolled your jeans.

62. You owned a banana clip.

63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"

64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"

65. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!!!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A

FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,



HONEY,

COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?

IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.



HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,

FIX THE LIGHTS NOW?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE

GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO.



FINE,



THEN THE WIFE ASKS,

WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?

IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT.



TO WHICH HE REPLIED,

FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE

WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO



FINE, SHE SAYS

THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS

TO THE FRONT DOOR?

THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK.



I'M NOT A DAMM CARPENTER AND I DON'T

WANT TO FIX STEPS.

HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE

ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU.

I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!



SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A

COUPLE OF HOURS....................................



HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW

HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES

TO GO HOME.



AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES

THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.



AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE

HALL LIGHT IS WORKING.



AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES

THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.



HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?

SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT

OUTSIDE AND CRIED.



JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME

WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.



HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND

ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER

GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.



HE SAID,

SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?



SHE REPLIED,

HELLOOOOO....

DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN

ON MY FOREHEAD?

I DON'T THINK SO!

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a
'hissie fit' and a 'conniption fit' and that you don't
"HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is
-- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the
table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept
well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold
potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece."
They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile
or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
white trash.
No true Southerner would never assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.
And when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat
them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful, that
red-eye gravy is also a breakfast food, and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet
milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
of it -- we do not like our tea UNsweetened. "Sweet
milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't ever scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on
the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go
your own way.
To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of
sausage gravy over some homemade biscuits and call me
in the morning. Bless your heart!!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff, bless your
hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southerness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have
lived here for a along time, ya'll need a sign to hang
on ya'lls front porch that reads:
"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I
could!"